All the men, toughest of the tough, hardest of the thugs
Somewhere proving manhood,
blindly chasing women and ass, going toe to toe with drugs
All the women, the sexiest of the sexy, baddest of the bad chics
Somewhere proving we still got it
Desperately demoralizing ourselves for men that don’t even value us
And getting drug by what we thought was love.
What is happening to us?
The lonely life of a playas wife
Could never be fully understood
by someone looking from the outside;
to the other women he makes it seem as if what she has, is just way too good.
All the vehicles, the house…
in a decent neighborhood,
the well dressed children and all their activities, those pictures online that seem oh so riveting!
The vacations, the trips, the jewelry, expensive restaurants and fancy bars with big face hundreds and imported sips in the vip section with real life stars.
they say, “she better be grateful or else its a shame, if he was my man I would never complain. All he does for her and she won’t let him breathe, so what if he flirts maybe she ain’t giving him what he need. On an average day she looking bummy won’t even fix her weave. And I heard when he do go home there is usually nothing for him to eat. That poor man and his horrible wife.
she thinks, “I wish they would mind their business and not analyze my life. Everyone has an opinion, but only God knows the truth￼. If it was up to the playa we wouldn’t have what we have or do what we do. To God be the glory for everything under this roof.
They think that I’m lazy but I work like a slave wifey when he feels like he wants one and laborer by day – full-time job and I clean like a maid
Thankful for the kids and activities that fill the potholes of loneliness along the way.
A year ago today
My mema was called away
A weary body lifted high by
A beautiful spirit prepared for what lies
beyond the sky
she was a fighter to the end and refused lay down
she kept pushing on thru the pain
she never would quit
I remember her being a faithful soldier of God
who prayed instead of complained when times got hard
yes she lived her life and saw many places
Miami, New York and even Las Vegas
She put up with so much
just like us
haters, backbiters, addiction,cheaters
oh so much
But I’m so glad she was tough
She stood her ground
barefoot with a 30 odd 6 (.30-06)
or sometimes just with her fist
thinking back to the story of how she defended her mom
by hittng that man with a brick
but that was when she was just a kid
she grew to know Love and Love knew her
and I know this because she shared it with us
and we are blessed to have known her and have learned her ways
so that she can live through us for many years and days
this poem could go on forever
speaking of people she healed, the children she trained, her Jesus and mines,
how she lived through two world wars and the great depression,
how she clothed and fed us sometimes with a nickel a day and that was just fine
If I told you everything it would seem unreal
so I’ll just stop right here
and try to keep her alive with the way that I live.
Diagonally positioned across my bed Tugging at these words in my head. 2 o’clock in the morning and who but me is up like an insomniac alone on a ship in a stormy sea. Three lights, a heater and a fan plus the TV not to mention this phone in my hand keeping me company.
Could it be that I’m numb with no emotions, I turn to lay on my back now I feel at ease like I’m floating in the ocean. This ain’t even a waterbed and no my serotonin hasn’t been fed. Staring at my vaulted ceiling’s thinking about life on the other side of the tracks how I miss that feeling.
One day I’m sure I’ll go back but hopefully when Poverty is gone. I’m sure he remembers me after all he’s the one that kicked me out of my home onto the street. But I can’t dwell on that horrific act because that’s where I met Ambition and she pulled up on my feet and off of my back.
I would like to dedicate this moment to all my haters. Frenemies, back stabbers, and traitors. Questioning my authenticity. Hard for you to understand because you was never down with me.
But it’s OK I understand your anger, envy and deceit; when you see me reaching for something greater than what you think I should be. All along greatness was inside of me. You only hating because you was the main one doubting me.
You thought you had me pegged thinking what I would and wouldn’t be, but now you think you see making it and you can’t even believe that it’s me.
Questioning whether I’m real! When you don’t know your own reality. 😏Yes, I’m real!! I put on a wig, sunglasses, fixed up a little bit, for the tube, cleaned up my vocabulary and now you say I’m not legit.
Looking for my secret, hoping to expose it; but ain’t no secret from me to them that love me, I’m 💯 percent. We received a word in the park that said hold on and you’ll make it.
So keep being dirty and like a boss, I’m a take it. Break it down, bag it up and remake it into fuel for my ambition. If I take my blockers off you’ll see that I’m driven by something greater than the both of us.
So if you hoping for me to fall just keep living but don’t be disappointed to see me end up alright. Because when I fall, I fall in God’s hands. And that’s why I can forgive you tonight.
I know I ain’t perfect. I’m not always right, but I am who God made me. My life, just a vapor that shines bright. And if you don’t understand it’s because darkness can’t comprehend the light. But it’s OK I forgive you, I love you, and have a good night.🌙
God’s sun – peeking through the clouds, warming up up my skin. Makes me love even more the skin that I’m in. Makes me appreciate a day that would have been gloomy. The glisten the glow the way that it moves me. Beaming down on darkness making nature rise. Hugging me gently so that I realize what’s possible – everything.